http://www.free-cartoons.org/free-cartoon-scripts/

WRITING – Read and critique first scene?
I have written a draft of the first scene of my story. It is not finished, but I need general views about what I have so far. Feel free to be as tough a critic as you wish – just make sure it's respectful. Tell me what you liked, what did not, and what you think should be added. If you like it as it is, let me know. Since this is a draft, do not want to hear about the spelling mistakes, grammar or format. I will be choosing a best answer. The pickup will be one which is more descriptive and also shows an accurate understanding of what I have written. This script was written for a cartoon, but it could well be live action or animation stop motion. Remember this is only the first scene, so that almost nothing is explained. Enjoyment
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/1332/deadb.jpg
I read your writing. You have a great imagination and even I could imagine the atmosphere establishing in the game. Unfortunately, I could not feel the effects of history when it was part of the dialogue. I think it's important that people know the purpose of history (or that this is about the problem.) Keep trying, buddy. Not bad. You're a great writer.
Animation Careers : How to Write a Script for a Television Animated Series